Finding My Way...
By Lisa Ekhed
Finding My Way...
By Lisa Ekhed
The hallways were crowded with backpacks and students. I tried to navigate through the maze of students to my personal space. My locker. After my 6th try the lock opened. My frustration had built up. This was not the way I wanted my day to begin. At least not here. I placed all of my books where I wanted them and snatched out my math binder, grabbed my pencil case and ran to class.
“Everybody be quiet!” shouted a woman dressed in a chocolate brown button down blazer. I assumed that she was the math teacher. I sat quietly the whole class and did not participate in the class discussions. I didn’t solve any problem that class.
“Sophie, what did you answer for question 4d?” The teacher asked.
“Ummm, I, I, I”, I stumbled. “I didn’t get to that problem...” I answered quickly.
“Well work faster next time.” She replied in a harsh voice, giving me the evil eye. “More homework for you.”
The clock ticked slower that ever. When the break bell went off everyone rushed out to their friend groups, chatting and laughing. Talking about their perfect lives. I sat down at an empty table in the far right corner of the canteen. I looked at my mashed potatoes and chicken that lay on my plate in front of me. I tried to disappear into the shadows, but that didn’t work. I hated this place and would never, ever start liking it. Ever. I let my fingers tangle through my light-brown hair and my green eyes stare into nowhere.
When the day finally ended I took the schoolbus home. The seats looked unhappy, old, and teared apart. Candy wrappers and rubbish covered the floor. I sat down in the front half of the bus, which seemed to be the quietest. A few kindergarten kids were poking the seats with pencils and laughed. They weren’t very smart, because they traced their names into the seats. I didn’t bother telling them to stop.
“Hi Sophie the First! How was school?” Mom said to me with a big smile on her face. She has called me this my whole life and I am starting to get embarrassed. She is literally talking to me as if I was her little baby.
“Hey mom.. It was horrible! I am still going to do my homework tho cause I am a ‘good-girl’.” I replied fast and stomped up the stairs to my new room. Tears ran down my cheeks and my vision became blurry as I slammed the door close. I would not survive.
The weeks went by slowly, and I was still sitting by myself at the same lunch table, without anyone to talk to and my teachers sounded as if they were talking jibberish.
Being bullied by the popular gang has become part of my everyday routine. Today before lunch they had ‘broken into’ my locker and put a frog in there. I am not a fan of frogs or insects and I didn’t enjoy my new resident. I threw it out. I have tried telling the teachers and my parents about my problems with that group, but the teachers say that they have more important things to deal with, and tell me that time will solve everything. As well as that I need to have some patience.
The only thing that got me out of bed each morning was knowing that Hannah would be visiting for Christmas. We had bought a tree and decorated it. I was sitting on our sofa and staring at the tree, thinking of everything I had been through in the past 6 months. The day I had been waiting for this whole time had finally arrived. Hannah was coming. I was excited however a little anxious too. We had not met each other in almost half a year and I didn’t know how she was doing anymore. I mean, we have talked on the phone and emailed, however that wasn't the same thing.
I was standing by the window looking out the door. I saw a cab pulling up our driveway and Hannah jumped out, followed by her parents. Hannah wore a pair of ripped jeans and a thick jacket.
“Hey Sophie! How are you doing?” She asked in her natural voice. I thought that she was more excited coming to see me.
“I am ok...I have missed you soo much! What about you Hannah?” I replied giving her a hug. I loved her as a friend, although today I didn’t know what I was thinking about it. She shrugged her shoulders,
“Good, I guess.”
When it was dinner time Hannah and I sat down on the opposite sides of the table. Both of us were sitting up straight and had nervous faces. After a few weird stares from my parents, I asked Hannah a bit about my old school, but she just gave me short answers and after sometime I decided to give up. She didn’t ask me anything about my new-life. She just sat there and stared at her food, then she took a bite or two and continued the cycle. We had never been mad with each other or satten quiet while eating dinner. Something had changed between us, and I was sensing that it wasn’t a good one.
It had snowed during the night and I convinced Hannah to go skiing down the road and around in the neighbourhood. She liked the idea and I felt relieved. After breakfast we put on our skis and started off down the road. I was not very sure if I should start a conversation with her or not, or if she was going to ask me first.
“So how are you doing? You have looked a little bit down, not very happy.” said Hannah.
“Well it has not been an easy move and I am just missing you and everyone terribly. I have not found any new friends and a gang of ‘popular kids’ has ganged up on me, doing whatever it takes to make me mad or sad.” Hannah looked a bit concerned as I was telling her this and then she told me,
“I have not had it easy either. People have been teasing me about you and saying that I don’t have any other friends and that I will need to get more than one friend to hang out with. That’s why I was a little bit weird yesterday. If you know what I mean...”
“Yeah I get it. It’s fine. I guess I was acting a little weird too,” I replied. It felt as if the curse broke and we started laughing, and it felt as if we were back to normal again.
After some time we got to a steep hill, which my school bus takes each morning. I told her that I would go first and so I did. I slipped. I woke up at the bottom of the hill and saw a blurry Hannah coming down towards me. Why did you have to be so clumsy? I asked myself.
“Are you okay?” she asked breathlessly.
“I think so,” I said trying to sit up properly. Sitting up went well but I could not stand on my left foot.
Hannah supported me all the way home and when we got to our house our parents started freaking out. It felt good to have a friend again. They iced my foot and gave me hot chocolate. I was sitting in the sofa watching the Christmas tree sparkle. Hannah was sitting next to me asking me how I was doing. The foot was swelling even more and the ice didn’t seem to help much. My parents took me to the hospital and the doctor thought that I had fractured my foot and that it will take sometime to heal and that I would need to wear a cast.
A few hours later I was sitting in the sofa and Hannah sat next to me. We were telling jokes like we used to and were drinking hot chocolate with marshmallows and whipped cream. We were laughing so much that we almost fell off the sofa. My mom came to us once in awhile and reminded us to stay calm and made me have my foot still, because it needed some rest in order for it to heal. This was the best yet worst Christmas ever.
A few days later it was christmas and Hannah and I were super excited. During the day we sat inside talking and telling each other's our doubts and secrets. It had been a long time since I had someone to talk to (other than my parents). We were both updated on each others lives and knew every single detail that was going on. Maybe fracturing a foot wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. In the evening we opened our presents. I had bought some candies as well as a candle for Hannah. She opened her presents and gave me a big hug. I got almost the same thing from her and we both cracked up laughing. Our parents looked at us weirdly and smiled at eachother. I think that they were glad seeing me happy again, because in the last 6 months I have been a Debby Downer, and had not smiled more than maybe 5 times. We tried to stay up as late as possible and at 3AM in the morning we both fell asleep on the sofa when watching a movie.
In January she left to go back home and we were both sad that we needed to leave each other. As well school was starting. I had not been thinking about that at all over the break. The students would probably be sitting in their groups talking about their christmas breaks and laughing, having a great time. What if I had to continue sitting in my corner until the end of the year all alone, again?
When I came back to school everyone kept staring at my foot. They looked concerned for me. I continued my normal routine and sat by myself during lunch, at the same table I had in the first semester. I felt as if something had changed. I wasn’t bullied as much as I was before and the teachers payed more attention to me in class. After about a week or two I had noticed that the ‘popular’ group had been looking at me and whispering to each other. One of the ‘popular’ girls came up to me and introduced herself,
“How was your break? What happened to your foot? It looks really bad. Oh and by the way my name is Patricia, if you didn’t already know that.Do you want to hang out with us?”
“My break was really good actually and my foot has been worse. Are you sure that it would be okay if I sat down with you guys? Cause it is kind of lonely sitting in the corner...”“I can imagine. But sure come and sit with us!” she replied in a happy voice. Patricia took my plate and followed me to their table. The group apologized for making me sad and angry, and we all started to have fun together. I made many new friends and I loved my life. Other groups in the school started to mix up as well and in the end we were with each other. Together.